I'm generally a very private person. Check out my socials and you'll find I've hardly posted anything over the last few years. Despite that, I'll often spend 15 minutes a day scrolling through updates from others. No holiday snaps, no birthdays, no casual musings; it's been radio silence from me. When I first started using Facebook, like many back then, I did take the time to post an occasional update, but have gotten out of the habit of it in recent years. It's partly laziness, but also partly that I fully realise that anything you put out on the internet can be very difficult to remove later.

However, for some time now, I've been thinking about being more open. More open because I've got a story that I think others need to hear. A story that might inspire hope, challenge prejudices and, potentially, save lives.

So, what is this story? Well, that's something I'll start to tell in more detail over coming weeks and months. Central to it is the story of my diagnosis of Bipolar I Disorder at the age of 19 and my story of recovery, several relapses, recovery again and again, and finally learning to accept and live with this condition. It's been tough, not only for me but my family and close friends. I'll also be sharing how it's impacted my life, changed the way I live and how I feel about my place in the world.

Among the many things I have learned on this journey is that by opening up and talking about the condition, it's helped not only me in making sense of my experience, but has helped the others that I have confided in. Whether that's in understanding the weird things I've done whilst in the grips of the condition, or created common ground to allow those individuals to open up about their challenges in their own lives.

Writing in particular has been a powerful tool for me. I started writing about 3 years ago. It was suggested to me as a coping mechanism when going through stressful and difficult periods. And it worked. I've found writing to me hugely cathartic and I really enjoy the process of getting my thoughts in order. I also find it to be a creative outlet - something I think everyone needs. We live in a society of art and media consumption, more now than ever before, but every now and again I find I can consume no more and I need to let things out - to express and let go of everything that's pent up inside me. I wish I was a musician and that I could do this in the form of song, as that to me epitomises the expression of how one is feeling and a means of literally releasing the energy from within. I did learn piano as a kid; but not played for years; and believe me you don't want to hear me sing! So for now, my outlet will be my writing. Up until now, my writing has always been strictly for myself and I now have many thousands of words tucked away that where written with the intention of never being read by another living soul.

Some of what will appear on this blog will be taken from my journals, but a lot of it will be new, particularly as I document the process of opening up and sharing my views, truths and emotions with the world and responding to how these are received.

In my next few posts, I'll explain more about why now is the time, why this is something that has taken a lot of soul searching and ultimately, why this has to be the right thing to do.

Well, I had to start somewhere. This is my first blog post. Hello world!